Chasing after the wind

I just recently tried/learned asking God boldly of my desires. I don’t usually do this because God is God. Even before I ask for anything, He already knew it and might have as well answered it. By asking boldly, I mean asking Him what I really really (for emphasis) want- citing even the smallest details. Though I consider this as my virtual journal, I still want to keep details of my requests just between me and my God.  I have made three points, as follows:

     1. Wisdom to be able to go back to school
    2. Grace to continue working while studying, to continue to earn and save and buy all the things I want

     3. A Love story written by the greatest Author, God

I was full of hope because I know He is faithful. He was faithful in giving me my new job. He was faithful when he gave more than enough grace for me to graduate with honors. I am sure He is able to do that again. He remains the same and will never change. That’s the very reason why the wisest thing to do in whatever situation is to trust Him.

I know that God is working but I really want to know what’s going on behind the scenes. Because of my osyosera nature, through the days I grew desperate, impatient, and very weary. I suddenly find no joy in my new work because not a single assignment was assigned to me yet. I actually should rejoice because I am paid doing nothing, yet that’s not the case for me. I really hate being idle, wasting my time doing nothing. I over think making focusing on God’s voice so hard.

God answered me this morning with His three points:
 1. Wisdom is meaningless

       2. Pleasures are meaningless

       3. Toil is meaningless

(These are the section titles of the first two chapters in the book of Ecclesiastes.)

I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 1:13-14

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." Ecclesiastes 1: 17-18

So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This is too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 2:17,22-23

Reading through the verses made me think, “Seriously, God? After learning asking boldly of my requests, now You are telling me to stop asking for things that are MEANINGLESS?” Although quite frustrated (as I do not like what I am reading) I continued reading, knowing that God will soon make me understand His point. Not long enough, I found the answer:

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This, too, I see, is from the hand of God for without Him, who can eat and find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness... Ecclesiastes 2: 24-26

I became too focused on MY efforts to pursue my dreams and (unconsciously) try to answer my prayer requests that I failed to look unto God.  Remember Matthew 6:33 saying that all other things will be added to you but you have to seek Him FIRST. Finding satisfaction and enjoyment in whatever we do is a gift from God. It is only by honoring Him and giving glory to His name that we can find joy and real meaning in whatever we are doing in this life. 

Photos are from <http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4604030013671214&pid=1.7> <http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4680184082203742&pid=1.7>

Bittersweet

After my countdown to my last day in my previous work, I was not able to blog again. Here are some of the pictures taken during my last day, which by the way, was a whole day celebration! Aside from (our usual) pancit/palabok-chicken handa, we had tuna pesto (courtesy of Mommy Cy, requested by the bunso, yours truly), ice cream, cake, and fruits. After eating lunch, we watched the movie "Now You See Me" at our conference room. I felt so loved but at the same time, I didn't know what to think. Were they that happy that finally, I've decided to leave??! haha! :p

Back row, left to right: Maan, Ate Hilda, Ma'am Lyn, Ma'am Agnes, Mommy Gracia, Kuya Clem, Ma'am Amy, Ma'am Sonia, Mommy Ef
Front Row, left to right: Ma'am K, Mommy Cy, Me, Inang Cot

Kidding aside, I am grateful and blessed for being part of this family. They have been are my friends, mentors, nanays and tatays not only during my 6month stay at BETP, but forever! After a week, finally, I had the courage to once again view these pictures, and blog about these awesome people. 

With Ma'am Agnes

Ma'am Agnes: Ganitong-ganito ang pakiramdam ko lagi kapag tinawag niya ako, IYAK-TAWA. Haha! Joke. She is my direct boss. She likes to ask my opinion on just about anything. She gives me assignments which I didn't think I could deliver, but I did. She pushes and challenges me to be better and to grow in every aspect of my life (especially in my career). I am thankful for her trust and confidence in my abilities that in my 6-month stay, I was exposed to a lot. 

Back row, middle: Ma'am Amy
Back row, rightmost: Ma'am Sonia

Ma'am Sonia and Ma'am Amy: The most nice and kind bossings we have. 

My two kapitbahays, Mommy Cy, and Kuya Clem

Mommy Cy: My Nanay #1. She makes the best ampalaya salad, and I recently tasted the best tuna pesto she made! She is the funniest (the best impersonator/storyteller with all her facial expressions and gestures) and coolest (she wears stylish clothes- from leopard-printed boots to neon-colored scarves!) Nanay in BETP. Every morning, she greets us with "Good morning, everything!" and never fails to play (the most requested) old songs at around 4:30pm. When she calls me (by my nickname, Den), she sings Michael Jackson's 'Ben,' changing 'Ben' to 'Den'. Haha!  

Kuya Clem: My Kuya and Mentor. He is certainly a proud Bicolano. (And a haciendero). He is proud to be humble (yes, that ironic). He likes to argue about anything, and would often ask me "Is your argument sound?" haha! He is the most patient in the group. He knows the best words to encourage and even to cheer us up, and he knows the right time when to say them. He was the one who really trained/mentored me on delivering my work. 

Ate Vivian: She is the most sosyal among us. Haha! She keeps us busog with all the food she brings (from Manila Pen!). I let her eat my home-cooked baon, while I eat her ManilaPen-cooked baon. haha! Fair enough, right? :p 

Mommy Ef,  my Ilocana Momma, who likes to share her love stories with us. She is also kikay!

Mommy-Gracia, my young looking Nanay. She was the most emotional during my last day. I felt so special, not until I have learned that she really is emotional everytime someone has to leave. haha! :p She never fails to call us, shouting "children" when it is time to eat (our favorite time of the day, making the pantry, our favorite hangout place! haha!).

Ate Cot, my Inang. She makes the best tasting coffee! Believe it or not, may mas bubully pa sa akin, at siya yun! Basta swak kami. She may be lokaret, but she has a good heart. 

(Not-so) Behind the Scene Drama Photos 

(PS special thanks also to those who were not in the photos, Sir Rodel, Sir Erik, and Alea)

I shall be back, guys! No goodbyes, just "until next time!" ;)