Chasing after the wind

I just recently tried/learned asking God boldly of my desires. I don’t usually do this because God is God. Even before I ask for anything, He already knew it and might have as well answered it. By asking boldly, I mean asking Him what I really really (for emphasis) want- citing even the smallest details. Though I consider this as my virtual journal, I still want to keep details of my requests just between me and my God.  I have made three points, as follows:

     1. Wisdom to be able to go back to school
    2. Grace to continue working while studying, to continue to earn and save and buy all the things I want

     3. A Love story written by the greatest Author, God

I was full of hope because I know He is faithful. He was faithful in giving me my new job. He was faithful when he gave more than enough grace for me to graduate with honors. I am sure He is able to do that again. He remains the same and will never change. That’s the very reason why the wisest thing to do in whatever situation is to trust Him.

I know that God is working but I really want to know what’s going on behind the scenes. Because of my osyosera nature, through the days I grew desperate, impatient, and very weary. I suddenly find no joy in my new work because not a single assignment was assigned to me yet. I actually should rejoice because I am paid doing nothing, yet that’s not the case for me. I really hate being idle, wasting my time doing nothing. I over think making focusing on God’s voice so hard.

God answered me this morning with His three points:
 1. Wisdom is meaningless

       2. Pleasures are meaningless

       3. Toil is meaningless

(These are the section titles of the first two chapters in the book of Ecclesiastes.)

I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 1:13-14

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." Ecclesiastes 1: 17-18

So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This is too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 2:17,22-23

Reading through the verses made me think, “Seriously, God? After learning asking boldly of my requests, now You are telling me to stop asking for things that are MEANINGLESS?” Although quite frustrated (as I do not like what I am reading) I continued reading, knowing that God will soon make me understand His point. Not long enough, I found the answer:

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This, too, I see, is from the hand of God for without Him, who can eat and find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness... Ecclesiastes 2: 24-26

I became too focused on MY efforts to pursue my dreams and (unconsciously) try to answer my prayer requests that I failed to look unto God.  Remember Matthew 6:33 saying that all other things will be added to you but you have to seek Him FIRST. Finding satisfaction and enjoyment in whatever we do is a gift from God. It is only by honoring Him and giving glory to His name that we can find joy and real meaning in whatever we are doing in this life. 

Photos are from <http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4604030013671214&pid=1.7> <http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4680184082203742&pid=1.7>

Four days to go!

 And so the count down begins! Today marks my (approximately) 125th day being a Trade Industry Development Analyst. As this is my first ever job, I get to experience a lot of 'firsts' here- first time to receive my salary, first time to be acquainted with (mostly) aged experienced people (no offense meant here, haha!), first time to attend meetings with people from different walks of life (mostly lawyers), first time to head projects, first time to wear smart casual/semi-formal/corporate attire everyday and so much more!

When I was still in college, I look forward to these days when I'll get to wear smart casual/semi-formal/corporate attire everyday, not knowing that this may be stressful (at times). Haha! Since I am an Iskolar ng Bayan, I am used to wearing shorts-shirt-sneakers or anything comfy that would allow me to rush from one class/building to another. And so during my first weeks as an employee, I really had to adjust and even (gradually) change my wardrobe. 

And for my first "fashion" post (yuck, HAHA!), here is my office attire

Dress: Kisses & Co.| Cardigan: Esprit | Wedge: Forever 21 | Sling bag: Nine West | Watch: Fossil | Necklace: Bought from a Cebuano Exporter 

Photos by: Ate Cot and Ate Vivi :)

Making Things Right

This is a season of revelations hence, today, what God revealed to me are: a.) I was blinded by the wrong kind of love; b.) I was praying for the wrong kind of man; and c.) I was trying to write my own love story.

Love is not about feeling electrified when you hold his hands; it is not about feeling ‘kilig’ whenever he looks straight into your eyes; and not even about the times and memories you shared. The bible has provided us several verses that would define what love really means. In fact, chapter 13 in the book of 1 Corinthians is devoted to that. However, merely reading this may not be enough to understand what it truly means to love. I am not saying that I am an expert when it comes to love, but as they say, you will never know that there is light, when you haven’t seen darkness. In this case, I was able to realise that I was trapped in a wrong conception of love by knowing deeper the greatest epitome of love- God Himself, for we can find in 1 John 4:8 that God is love.

God’s love is selfless, as Romans 5:8 states 

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We are sinners hence, we do not deserve His love yet He chose to love us. And He demonstrated that by dying on the cross for us. 

God’s love is unconditional: 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39). 

God’s love is everlasting: 

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness (Jeremiah 31:3). 

God’s love is perfect:

 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love (1 John 4:18).

God is the source of love: 

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him (1 John 4: 16).

With the Truth about love enumerated, I think I am ready now to proceed to God’s second revelation. I am not ashamed to admit that I was hoping for my prince charming to be macho, good-looking, smart, etc. I thank God for saying ‘no’ to my prayers, for rescuing me from my past relationships, and for changing my perspective on this matter. Relationship with the opposite sex means commitment that goes beyond your emotions and feelings; and in the long term, leads to marriage. Ephesians 5: 22-33 talks about the responsibilities of both wives and husbands:

 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 

These verses let me realize that I must desire for a man who can lead me and our family in the future, having a vision and direction in life- a man whose plans are in line with God’s will. He must be a man therefore, full of wisdom, whose source is God alone.

 ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

He must be able to selflessly protect me, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 

Above all, he must be a man of God- a man who knows God and loves God. It also follows then that he obeys God’s commands for this is what it means to love God. Having the knowledge of God, he shall see me not as an ordinary woman but a daughter of God- worthy of his love, respect, and faithfulness.

Finally, I would like to share with you how I was trying to be the author of my own love story. Last year, I asked God to prepare my heart to fall in love, once again.  This year, I am asking God to let me start my love story with Mr. God –given-special-someone. What is common in both of my prayer requests is that they are both self-centered. I read books to help me prepare my heart. I organized outings with friends (who are mostly boys), hoping that one of them may be my boyfriend. I was doing things on my own- my own means, own strength based on my own understanding of love. It was hard for me to find joy in being single. No wonder I became impatient, felt so lonely, and often, complained to God. Guess what God has reminded me today: that He knows the desires of my heart, and He is more than able to give the man He has for me only for one condition- I must let Him be God!

I am His ‘work-in-progress’. You are, too. Everyday is a chance to make things right- not by our own means, but by God’s grace working in us.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. -Habakkuk 2:3

xx,

D

Photos are not mine. <http://worththewaitblog.wordpress.com/> <http://www.actlikeaman.org/relationships/>