Chasing after the wind

I just recently tried/learned asking God boldly of my desires. I don’t usually do this because God is God. Even before I ask for anything, He already knew it and might have as well answered it. By asking boldly, I mean asking Him what I really really (for emphasis) want- citing even the smallest details. Though I consider this as my virtual journal, I still want to keep details of my requests just between me and my God.  I have made three points, as follows:

     1. Wisdom to be able to go back to school
    2. Grace to continue working while studying, to continue to earn and save and buy all the things I want

     3. A Love story written by the greatest Author, God

I was full of hope because I know He is faithful. He was faithful in giving me my new job. He was faithful when he gave more than enough grace for me to graduate with honors. I am sure He is able to do that again. He remains the same and will never change. That’s the very reason why the wisest thing to do in whatever situation is to trust Him.

I know that God is working but I really want to know what’s going on behind the scenes. Because of my osyosera nature, through the days I grew desperate, impatient, and very weary. I suddenly find no joy in my new work because not a single assignment was assigned to me yet. I actually should rejoice because I am paid doing nothing, yet that’s not the case for me. I really hate being idle, wasting my time doing nothing. I over think making focusing on God’s voice so hard.

God answered me this morning with His three points:
 1. Wisdom is meaningless

       2. Pleasures are meaningless

       3. Toil is meaningless

(These are the section titles of the first two chapters in the book of Ecclesiastes.)

I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 1:13-14

Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this too, is a chasing after the wind. For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." Ecclesiastes 1: 17-18

So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This is too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 2:17,22-23

Reading through the verses made me think, “Seriously, God? After learning asking boldly of my requests, now You are telling me to stop asking for things that are MEANINGLESS?” Although quite frustrated (as I do not like what I am reading) I continued reading, knowing that God will soon make me understand His point. Not long enough, I found the answer:

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This, too, I see, is from the hand of God for without Him, who can eat and find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness... Ecclesiastes 2: 24-26

I became too focused on MY efforts to pursue my dreams and (unconsciously) try to answer my prayer requests that I failed to look unto God.  Remember Matthew 6:33 saying that all other things will be added to you but you have to seek Him FIRST. Finding satisfaction and enjoyment in whatever we do is a gift from God. It is only by honoring Him and giving glory to His name that we can find joy and real meaning in whatever we are doing in this life. 

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